By Holly Madison
Lost in Wonderland . . .
A fairy-tale dream that turned a nightmare, and a girl whose energy helped her give you the chance out to the opposite side
At 21, small-town Oregon lady Holly Cullen turned Holly Madison, Hugh Hefner’s #1 female friend. yet like Alice’s trip into Wonderland, Holly’s plunge down the rabbit gap took her to a global the place all was once now not because it appeared. The fairy-tale existence contained in the Playboy Mansion—which incorporated A-list megastar events and starring in a leading tv show—quickly devolved into an oppressive regimen of strict principles, manipulation, and battles with formidable, backstabbing Bunnies that almost drove Holly to take her personal life.
Down the Rabbit Hole is her introspective account of her time contained in the Mansion: the medication, abuse, notorious events, and Holly’s actual behind-the-scenes lifestyles with Bridget, Kendra, and Mr. Playboy himself. it's also her chronicle of therapeutic and desire. via telling her tale, either a cautionary story and a party of non-public empowerment, Holly reminds us of the significance of scuffling with for our dreams—and of discovering the existence we deserve.
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He acknowledged that as though that have been a wonderfully average declare to popularity. understand that, a few of the community expertise wasn’t unavoidably delighted to be sharing the highlight with those younger felons. Say what you'll approximately how a few of us grew to become loved ones names, none folks obtained there by way of breaking and getting into. the area of “famous for being recognized” was once getting more odd and more bizarre. HOLLY’S international PREMIERED TO very good ratings—nearly 2 million audience! —and speak of a moment season used to be essentially speedy. among filming the sequence, observing it spread on air, and appearing six nights per week, 2010 glided by in a blur.
I seemed up from my e-book and changed the messy bun on most sensible of my head that used to be disguising my poorly got new haircut. i'm wondering who that's, i presumed. A bubbly Carmen Miranda–costumed blonde sauntered around the pool quarter handing out glossy beaded necklaces with tiny bottles of Jack Daniel’s hooked up to all the partygoers. “Happy Cinco de Mayo! ” the lady beamed, a massive, sparkling smile on her face as she passed me a necklace. She had a wide, crimson headdress balanced on most sensible of her head and appeared strangely perky.
I suggest, it’s somewhat a lot for me, there’s not anything distinct approximately it,” I floundered, making an attempt in useless to return up with whatever that may now not piss Vicky off. i may consider the blood pumping in my cheeks, convinced i used to be shiny pink. Vicky had simply opened the door to her mystery little global and that i slammed it in her face. “Okay, whatever,” she spat. “Hey, i have to prepare, so I’ll goodbye, ok? ” “Okay,” I acknowledged, spotting that it used to be my cue to depart. Oh my god, i assumed, I can’t wait to inform Bridget approximately this!
She knew i used to be depressing and i have been for it slow. She knew i needed a relatives in my lifestyles sometime and that that wasn’t suitable with lifestyles on the mansion. She additionally knew of my different worry: after being one in all Hef’s seven concubines, might somebody even wish me now? Had I ruined myself eternally via making this selection? She used to be a consoling good friend and a very good listener, yet she didn’t fairly comprehend what to assert. She had her personal set of frustrations with mansion lifestyles and didn’t have the solutions. there has been anything else occurring that was once distancing me from Hef, and perhaps he felt it—I used to be commencing to observe that maybe spending the remainder of my (or, possibly extra thoroughly, the remainder of Hef’s) existence on the mansion was once no longer what i really wanted.
Each one series used to be extra enjoyable than the final: the solid strutting down a yellow-brick-road model of the Las Vegas Strip; me being shot from above, twirling in a crimson gown atop a wide caricature image of the town; and me perched on a larger-than-life disco ball emerging from the city’s skyline. E! was once rolling out the purple carpet . . . for me! It felt like a dream come actual. presently earlier than the express aired, E! flew me to l. a. to shoot video promos for the community. all of the community stars have been required to shoot: Ryan Seacrest and Giuliana Rancic, the Kardashian sisters, Kendra and Hank, and me.